A woman's right to birth!!

Things done well and with a care, exempt themselves from fear.
William Shakespeare

There is power that comes to women when they give birth. They don't ask for it, it simply invades them. Accumulates like clouds on the horizon and passes through, carrying the child with it." Sheryl Feldman

Everyone knows that a woman has a right to choose, and for the most part regardless of the side you stand on that issue, it is a right most respect.  But it is amazing to me how little respect there is for a woman's right to birth, where ever and however she wants.

If I have been gone for a while, it has to do with my new job in the middle of my 2nd trimester.  Yes, I am pregnant again.  But that is a story to be told on another day. 

With my first child, I was consider high risk, for a situation that turn out to be nothing really serious. But even with my first child I had wanted to birth naturally (no drugs and vaginally).  I hired a doula, informed my doctor and made myself ready.  But you know what they say of the best laid plans, I ended up getting induced.  While my birth "plan" went out the door once the pitocin kick in, I still had a great birth experience at the hospital. 

But when I got pregnant again, and found out that both this baby and I were healthy and low risk, I started thinking about all those options I had read about during my first pregnancy.  Yes, OPTIONS!! I am NOT a hippie girl, but I do consider myself an open minded person.  So I read, and researched and found out that alternative birth plans outside of the hospital were not as scary or as risky as we have all been led to think. 

I read lots of stories (starting out with the bad gone worse ones firsts, it's my nature, working my way up to the super positive ones).  Now, I will be the first to admit that if you have a health condition or your baby possibly does, then the hospital is the only way to go.  But if you are otherwise "perfect" then, the choices are out there.  I found a midwife, asked her all sorts of questions (background, educational, worst case scenario, etc), found reliable reviews of her, and came to the decision that this might be for me. 

I was actually contemplating a HOME birth.  With a hospital only 8 miles away, and a midwife who knows what she is talking about, and a good bill of health for baby and me, it seemed like a possibility.  So I spoke to my parents, who were not in love with the idea but not opposed, this was particular important to me since my dad is a doctor, i thought he would put up the biggest fight, but was surprised to hear my parents say "it's your decision". 

Then, came announcing this consideration to my friends, this was were I was caught off guard.  While I expected the why's, are you crazy, is it safe, type of questions, I was not prepared for the judgement and harsh criticism from women that had simply, no knowledge outside of assumptions or what they have been told their whole lives.  I was armed with information but they really didn't want to hear it.  All I kept hearing was, why would you risk it? As if I was an idiot, who would make a decision without extensive research, or worse as if I would actually risk my life or that of my yet unborn child. 

Not only, that but was told over and over, that they would never do it and their family and friends would never let them do it.  All I kept hearing is, women judging my very well thought out and researched decision, while offending my family. Had they lost their minds? Most of these people were friends whom have never had children themselves or had never read anything on alternative birthing.  I was shocked!!  I was hurt.

It is tough enough to be a woman and on top of that we are going to criticize each other for decisions we make that are safe and personal, just because we don't agree or understand it.  Shame on all of us!!  There are a millions statistics and stories that anyone could arm themselves with.  But just because something is different and seems scary, doesn't make it so.  And just because something has been done one way for a long time doesn't mean it is the best way to do it. 

I leave you with these thoughts about birth for your consideration.

1. Birthing in Hospitals only became popular in the 1950's +.
2. In England, Netherlands, Australia (non 3rd world countries) many women birth at home with midwives b/c birth is seen as natural and not a disease or risk.  You go to the hospital when there is a complication, like most conditions in life.
3. I know of at least 3 people whose babies died in hospitals, for reasons no one can explain.  Things happens regardless of where you are at.
4. A midwife (a good, licensed one) does everything a doctor would do, carries IV and pitocin with her, knows the same CPR and live saving techniques labor and neonatal nursers do at the hospital, will not allow you to birth at home or elsewhere if you are remotely at risk or your baby is (it is also the law)
5. Most midwives have delivered more babies than most doctors (vaginally that is).

Be informed before you speak like you know what you are talking about.  If I can respect your decisions to birth in hospital or get elective C sections, then you should be able to respect alternative birthing options.