2 babies under 2 yrs old ...a cautionary tale!

"New mothers enter the world of parenting feeling much like Alice in Wonderland."

So when my son was 8 months old I found out I was pregnant again. I cried for two days. We were not ready, we didn't have more money, we still had an infant, and I had 10 pounds to loose still from my son's pregnancy.

My hubby took it like a champ, he didn't cry, at least not that I saw. The second pregnancy was different. I had been more tired, my "glow" was not present, like with my son, where everyone kept complementing me. My skin was that of a teenager, my belly and behind got bigger much sooner, and my energy was nonexistent. Not to mention that when people ask, how far along I am, I often have to rely on my phone app because I really have no idea.

So that led to the following questions, do I look like a whale? Does my son realize that I have become less fun than dad, who can pick him up and chase after him for more than 20 min at a time? Am I not loving this baby enough, I don't even know how many weeks I am? And the most important question, how will I ever love this new baby as much?

I eve asked my mother (mother of five) to just be honest and tell me that she loves me the most. After all, as the oldest, I am going to realize the truth as soon as the baby came. But she swore she loves us all equally! I wasn't so sure but figured we would see soon enough...But I kept thinking maybe it would be like the grinch, whose heart just grew jut when he didn't think it could.

Everyone I encountered had one of two reactions: congrats, that is the way to go (either because they too did it this way or waited to long between kids) OR omg, your hands will be full (aka, are u crazy?) Then, all the positive people tell you it will be super hard in beginning but once in school it is a breeze. It is a very crazy thing, to know you will be insane for the next 5-6 years.

At 7 1/2 months pregnant with my daughter, I found myself excited to meet her and a little sad that my first has transitioned to toddlerhood so quickly. I could appreciate how quick it will all fly,
how  little sleep I would get, and how much I might grow to love.


Now here, on the eve of Mother's Day, my daughter is one and my son two and I love them equally. I'm still working on my weight, and I still get the you did it the right way or you must have some guts, comments.  But this is all I know, and I wouldn't have it any other way. In the end, no path to motherhood is easy, I'm convinced that we worry as much as we do while we are pregnant, to get us ready for all the worrying we will have for the rest of our lives. My mom was right, it never stops.

I am still a little stressed now an again, but I just keep telling myself, if Charles and his wife can do it so can I!! (he is a guy I went to law school with, who had triplets a little before I did, and found out his wife was preggers again when the trips were 6mos or so. They have 4under 2. Hey, it helps to know someone has it worse than you! Sorry, Charles)

So, to all my friends who claimed to be jelous of the 15 month gap between my kids, here is the true story, it is scary and exciting, and if it happens to you, I will both congratulate and warn you, it might just be the best journey of your life.

Happy Mother's Day

Xoxo